I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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