they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
