the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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