Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
