oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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