did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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