Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
