just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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