they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I touched a dick in church today
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
