like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
