Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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