ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
