Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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