I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
