what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
