i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
