Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
