You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
