i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My vagina is very pro this idea
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
