porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
