I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
