It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
