On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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