i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
