we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
