Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
