He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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