Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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