there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
