if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
