I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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