You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My vagina just clenched in fear
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
