Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
