I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
