everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
