I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
