The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
