Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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