And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
