The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
