Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
