Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
