STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
