Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
