I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
