mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
