I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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