that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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