she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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