Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
