He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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