maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
