So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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