Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
