i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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